Bobbi Salvör Menuez
Episode 18 Bobbi Salvör Menuez
In this episode of Weddings-ish with Jove, the host had the pleasure of sitting down with actor Bobbi Salvör Menuez for an engaging and enlightening conversation. Jove began by making sure to pronounce Bobbi’s name correctly, a nod to the common mispronunciations he faces himself. Bobbi shares that their middle name has Icelandic roots, honoring a great-great-great-great-grandmother, while their last name, Menuez, is Basque, lending it a Spanish flair. They note that many people mistakenly interpret it as Salvador Mendez,.
Born and raised in Brooklyn, Bobbi reflects on the rarity of being a true New Yorker, especially as most people move to the city seeking new beginnings. They recounted being born in Long Island College Hospital, which is now closed, and spoke about growing up in a space filled with both memories and challenges. After their parents split when Bobbi was seven, they moved out at 18 but returned six years ago to the rent-stabilized apartment from their childhood. This connection to their past has given Bobbi a profound sense of rootedness in the city.
As they discussed the emotional aspects of living back in their childhood home, Bobbi acknowledged that the experience was initially strange. However, it has transformed into a space of healing and growth, particularly with their partner living there for five years. They viewed this return as an opportunity to reflect on their journey and supercharge their healing process. Bobbi’s family background adds another layer to their perspective on relationships. With a mother from Iceland who has a large family there, and parents who are each remarried to different partners with their own children, Bobbi comes from a complex family dynamic shaped by divorce. Jove expressed his curiosity about whether Bobbi shares any concerns about divorce, especially given his own family experiences. A concern he shares going into marrige. However, Bobbi conveyed a strong sense of security in their current relationship. They emphasized that they feel empowered to show up fully as themselves, recognizing the growth they’ve experienced since their 20s. This maturity contributes to their confidence in navigating a long-term commitment.
When discussing the future, Bobbi shared a refreshing outlook on marriage. They mentioned that if they and their partner ever faced challenges down the road, they believe they would handle a divorce amicably, remarking that they would have “a really nice divorce” if it ever came to that 20 years later. This pragmatic view reflects Bobbi’s understanding that relationships evolve and change, and it highlights their commitment to fostering a healthy, respectful partnership, no matter where life may lead them.
“In my experience for the wedding and then beyond that, people being themselves in the most ‘whatever way’ that means doing the most ‘them thing’ is usually the most powerful choice.”
on expressing themselves authentically
Photography by: Ryan McGinley
Bobbi first met their partner at a dinner party. Both were in other relationships at the time, but they immediately connected over dessert when no one else wanted any. The olive oil semolina cake marked the start of a deep friendship. When both were single, they spent a summer upstate—Bobbi in a poetry program, and their partner at Bard. It was then Bobbi began to sense there might be something more. They shared a bed one night in a purely friendly way, but ended up holding hands as they slept, waking to find their hands still intertwined. Jove calls it one of the sweetest stories he's ever heard. Later, while on a date in a field of clover, Bobbi mentioned never finding a four-leaf clover, and then immediately plucked one from the ground.
Photography by: Ryan McGinley
Bobbi and their partner Corey got engaged three times. The first proposal happened one evening over Thai food at their local restaurant, sharing pad see ew and papaya salad. In the middle of a conversation about marriage, Bobbi felt a spontaneous urge to propose. They took out their grandmother's ring, which carried a special energy, and proposed to Quori. At first, Quori thought it was a joke, but when they realized Bobbi was serious, they said yes. This became their private, intimate proposal.
After this moment, Bobbi collaborated with their dear friend, Evangeline Adalioryn, to design a custom ring for Quori—a baguette-cut diamond set horizontally, described as "masculine but festive." They waited for the perfect timing, under the moon in Cancer, to propose again, choosing Gabriel Island, where Quori grew up—a place meaningful to both of them. This second proposal was intimate, with just the two of them, imbued with thoughtful symbolism.
For the third proposal, it was Quori’s turn. During a casual BBQ with Bobbi's friends from all over, Quori surprised them by arriving with two miniature humpbacked cows, or Zebus—an animal the couple had seen at a state fair and found adorable. Corey handed Bobbi one of the leashes, got down on one knee, and proposed, while friends and family set off colorful smoke bombs in celebration. Jove and Bobbi then joke about how both of them would have struggled to keep this sort of secret.
Bobbi’s wedding felt more like a beautiful community effort of friends rather than hired vendors. This approach felt right to them, not only on a spiritual level but also financially. They decided to envision the most elaborate version of what they truly wanted, and then let go, trusting the process to unfold as it would. Using their creative director skills, Bobbi designed the wedding themselves, including the striking pink fabric that draped around the tent—a practical choice to ensure they were prepared for any weather, but also a stunning visual element. The pink fabric was sourced freely, adding to the resourcefulness of the event.
Photography by: Ryan McGinley
They enlisted the help of their friend Cloe Young who works in production, to manage the logistics, and many of their guests, who are chefs and work in the food industry, contributed dishes to create an eclectic family-style menu. Hors d’oeuvres and dinner were served buffet-style on long tables, creating a communal atmosphere.
The ceremony itself was unique and full of movement, reflecting Bobbi’s dynamic spirit. In a surprising and memorable moment, Bobbi ran to the ceremony—a bold entrance Jove had never seen before. The couple exchanged vows on a floating wedding platform, which added to the dreamlike quality of the event..
When it came time to plan their walk down the aisle, Bobbi and Quori decided to make it playful and deeply personal. They gave their friends the title of "flower girl," leaving the interpretation wide open. One friend, carried a painting of flowers, which Jove found especially moving. He hopes this kind of creative freedom becomes a new trend in weddings.
Photography by: Ryan McGinley
Quori chose to walk in first, while Bobbi, feeling a surge of adrenaline and joy, knew right away they would run in. Bobbi, as an actor and performer, has a special connection to their body and instinctively felt that running was the most authentic way to express the excitement of the moment. With bells intertwined in their outfit and a long, flowing dress that was open, Bobbi wore dancing shoes to ensure they could move comfortably. The aisle was long, giving the moment an even more dynamic energy.
Photography by: Ryan McGinley
Jove was deeply touched by this choice, seeing it as a beautiful way to break the mold of traditional weddings. What could have been a serious moment became playful, reflecting Bobbi's and Quori's desire to include their inner child in the experience. Every part of their wedding felt like a true representation of who they are, and Jove often says that "the answer is inside everyone"—that everyone should create a wedding that resonates with their true selves, just as Bobbi and Quori did.
Jove and Bobbi delve into the specifics of their makeup looks, particularly focusing on their eyelashes. For this special occasion, they collaborated with makeup artist Kali Kennedy. Since Bobbi doesn't typically wear makeup, they wanted the look to be incredibly transformative and evoke another dimension. Cali crafted custom lashes using Bobbi's own hair to ensure a perfect match. Bobbi had their hair cut and collected the strands to be used for the lashes, which their hairstylist playfully remarked felt very pagan. The custom eyelashes were sculptural and insect-like, contributing to an ethereal, otherworldly vibe that perfectly complemented Bobbi's overall look on their wedding day. Corey had a striking hair and makeup moment as part of their wedding look. They had metallic orbs placed throughout the face and ears with the cool hair moment of gelled pieces.
Photography by: Ryan McGinley
Adding a unique touch to their ceremony, Bobbi and Quori worked with an herbalist to create a potion they drank together, affectionately dubbed the "essence of an eyelash wish."
Jove shares details about the wedding cake, a stunning "star" cake that added a whimsical touch to the celebration. Bobbi and Quori cut the cake together on top of the table, making it a memorable moment that encapsulated the joy and uniqueness of their day. The table where Bobbi and Quori cut their cake also served as a stage for their friend Aiden's performance. In a playful moment, they decided to "activate" the stage by taking off their muddy shoes before cutting the cake. Just as they were about to slice into it, their friends unexpectedly let off fireworks, creating a spectacular backdrop for the moment.
Photography by: Ryan McGinley
Bobbi and Quori waited until the kids had gone home, and around 1 or 2 in the morning, they were tied together by their friend Rubber Queen Hinako to a remix of "Nasty Girl" by Tinashe played, embodying the joyful and spirited atmosphere of their wedding.
The celebration was filled with love, laughter, and a sense of community, with many children included in the festivities because Bobbi has memories of being at a wedding as a child and it being a special experience. Jove usually an adamant no kids at weddings person, starts to see the other perspective.
Bobbi offers insightful advice for those looking to involve their community in wedding planning. They emphasize that letting go of control can be incredibly liberating, allowing for a more organic and joyful process. Reflecting on their own experience, Bobbi mentions that deciding to include meat at the wedding was a tough choice but highlights the importance of being gracious for the gifts offered by others, even if those contributions weren’t part of their original vision. Embracing these unexpected elements can lead to beautiful moments and a deeper sense of community. Doing whatever needed to happen remain flexible.
During “Ask Jove” Segment Sloan joins Jove to talk about his tips for someone hosting a non-traditional wedding.
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